Mental, Emotional Exhaustion and Severe Depression

Mental and emotional exhaustion. Severe depression. I have been diagnosed with “Check D: All Of The Above”. Here’s what I found strange. I really didn’t know I was exhausted and severely depressed. I lived many years in this condition. But I had it confused with it being a physical condition. Pain and fatigue are my daily life due to an incurable autoimmune disease. So I thought that was the source of the exhaustion.

I use to be a long distance runner. During my hey-day, I ran 60-70 miles a week. The single longest run I have ever been on was 32 miles. As an athlete, if you overtrain and push too far for too long, you will experience something that I have found to be very similar to mental and emotional exhaustion and severe depression. The symptoms, for me at least, were the same. I was extremely tired, unmotivated, “dark” was my best attitude and emotion. Everything was an effort. All I really wanted to do was sleep, but it evaded me every time I laid down.

This type of physical exhaustion is not the same thing as the effects of a single, blow-out workout. That actually has many rewarding effects. I’m talking about pushing too hard for weeks or maybe even months. The negative buildup from the overstress and overstrain without adequate recovery can be disastrous. It is a boiling pot with the lid clamped shut.

My point is this. I confused mental and emotional exhaustion for physical exhaustion. My thinking was that “Of course I’m feeling down. I’m in constant pain and can’t sleep! Wouldn’t you feel the same?”

I went years without proper attention to the problem. Even when friends, family and physicians were asking me to seek help.

Now hold on to your pew with this next part. God and His word were my saving life raft during the many years of carrying this weight and the pain it created. All the time I kept my focus on God and His word. But here was the problem. I only used God and His word for a life raft to keep me afloat in the sea of muck and mire. I was “holding on” but not “getting out”.

“And a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years. When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole?” (John 5:5-6).

It sounds like a silly question, doesn’t it? There was a man who had been sick for 38 years and Jesus asks him if he wants to be restored to health!

But that’s exactly the question I needed to ask of myself. Did I want to maintain the problem, asking God to give me enough strength and “umph” to keep my head above the waterline of pain and depression? Or did I want out of that Hellish sea completely?

I had to ask myself, “Wilt thou be made whole?” There is a world of difference between asking for strength to survive a problem and moving forward towards complete resolution and restoration.

Here’s something else to consider. John saw Jesus walking by and declares, “Behold, the Lamb of God”. Two of John’s disciple follow Jesus. Then Jesus turned and asked them, “What seek ye?” (John 1:36, 38).

Jesus asked a very simple, basic, but critically important question. What are you looking for? What are you trying to accomplish? Where are you headed?

Did I want to be made whole? Or did I just want to keep my head above water?

Did I want to climb into the boat and set sail towards being made whole? Or did I just want to keep my head above water?

We have to recognize the presence of a problem. We have to determine exactly what the problem is, and more importantly, determine exactly what the solution is. Then we must move towards that solution. Always maintain forward progress. Speed and time aren’t as important as maintaining forward progress.

For example, a marathon is 26.2 miles long. Anyone can complete a marathon if time and speed are no longer a factor. The important thing to always remember is to keep moving forward towards the finish line.

My biggest problem was that I was too caught up in the problem and not paying enough attention to the solution. I was asking God for strength in dealing with the problem and not asking for His will and guidance towards solving it.

“So run, that ye may obtain.” (1 Corinthians 9:24b)

“Run with patience the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1b).

Reach, “forth unto those things which are before” and, “press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippian 3:13b-14).

Bill Hitchcock