Be Careful What You Tolerate

I saw a Meme this morning. It was a picture of the actor Robert Downey Jr. He was sitting down with a rifle in what appeared to be a 19^th century setting. He is staring straight and stoically right at the camera. The message read as follows.

“Be Careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you.”

It’s very true. We must realize that we have control of our environment. How we react to and with others will determine how they act with us. What we permit they will do. Everything follows the path of least resistance. People are certainly no different in this department. Think about it. If every time you said pizza, I punched you in the nose, you’d soon learn not to say pizza in my presence. This pertains to everything we say, with hopefully less dramatic and traumatic reactions and results. So if you want pizza, you either have to live with the punch in the nose or correct the puncher post haste and toot sweet!

If we do nothing or say nothing to things adverse to us, then whether its intentional or not becomes a moot point. The adverse words or deeds will continue. While you’re hung up and hurt as to the why the adversity is coming from this particular individual, the purveyor of said adversity could quite possibly be completely oblivious that there is even a problem.

But equally as important if not more so, as to what you tolerate, is who you tolerate with what. We generally give more leeway to family members and close friends.

But there is a danger to be aware of when it comes to who and what we do or don’t tolerate.

According to Paul’s letter to the Colossians, forbearance is one of God’s attributes we are to “put on”, as well as patience and forgiveness. (Colossians 3:12-13)

In his letter to the Roman’s, Paul called God’s forbearance and longsuffering the, “riches of his goodness”.

Everyone knows what Jesus said during His Sermon on the Mount. “But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” (Matthew 5:39)

To forgive we must first forbear. Think about that. If God didn’t forbear, if He wasn’t tolerant, if punishment for sin was instant, there would have been no need for Jesus Christ as a Savior and we all would be dead and gone.

Intolerance in man creates a miserable person, a tyrant of a person. Intolerance is rooted in pride which makes them a dangerous person. It is self-gratification and self-preservation above all else, therefore the intolerant person will strike at anyone.

Forbearance can be a tricky thing. Peter asked Jesus how often should he forgive someone.

Peter asked, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” (Matthew 18:21)

To which Jesus replied, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:22).

A small caveat here. Neither Peter nor Jesus were literal with the number 7. The “till seven times” is a Hebraism meaning a lot or several.

Jesus then proceeded to tell Peter a parable about a servant that owed a king money. The king threatened to sell everything the servant had, including his wife and children to repay the debt.

The servant told the king to, “have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.” (Matthew 18:26)

The king had compassion for the servant and let him go, trusting the servant to be a man of his word. The servant then went out, found someone who owed him money, grabbed this person by the throat and then “cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt” (Matthew 18:30).

The king heard what the servant had done to the other man and said to him, “O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?” (Matthew 18:32-33).

The king then delivered the servant “to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.” (Matthew 18:34)

The “tormentors”, more accurately called the torturers, usually made use of the rack. Not really anyone’s preferred method of debt repayment.

So, the question remains; what do we tolerate? And who do we tolerate it from?

Anything of God will always be rooted in God’s love. This love is not the emotional, impulse or upwelling of feelings. Nor is it necessarily directed towards folks you have any special affinity for. In fact, the expression of God’s love doesn’t even have to be for those you like. The greater love often isn’t.

God’s love seeks the benefit and welfare of others. This type of benevolence is not dependent upon relationship, only caring, edifying and the welfare of another. So yes, turn the other cheek when it is rooted in God’s love and in His best interest as well as that of the particular situation you are in. But duck if the fella is swinging to hurt you and counter punch if he is attacking you with intent to harm, maim or kill.

Remove your pride. Now look at the situation. What’s the best course of action to glorify God? Is it to tolerate and forbear this present predicament? Will we gain or maintain a brother or sister in Christ if we do?

“Love worketh no ill to his neighbor” (Romans 13:10), but pride will. Pride will work all sorts of ill. By the very nature of pride, it will take and consume as it sees fit. Remove pride and self-interest and allow the love of God to flow.

To tolerate and forbear, to be patient and to long suffer is not a matter of being right. This is why I said to remove pride. Pride requires you to be right.

Forbearance is a matter of righteousness, not of being right, but rather to be righteous. The word righteousness has its etymology in first “rightwise” then as “rightness”. This latter variation connotes both the being and the doing of righteousness. That’s the state of being we all need to strive to achieve, that of righteousness. We have a righteous God.

“For the righteous Lord loveth righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright.” (Psalm 11:7)

With God in view and with a righteous heart, the who and what to tolerate and forbear should become clear.

Bill Hitchcock